|Coming direct from the addled brain of George Lucas.|
|10. Acting To Nothing|
|There have been some wonderful actors throughout the years.
I am sure that even the best actors that ever lived would have problems acting or reacting to a tennis ball stuck on a pole.
Is it any wonder then that in the Star Wars prequels everyone comes across like they are all acting in a primary school Nativity play?
|9. The Waste of Samuel L. Jackson|
|When Samuel L.Jackson appeared on TFI Friday and dropped hints like hot potatoes that he wanted a part in the prequels, Lucas was only too happy to cast him. Sadly, he gave him a character to play who is little more than a reactionary reactor who reacts badly to things and is friends with a little green man.
So, a perfect fit for one of the most likable screen presences in the last 15 years.
But good news, he gets killed by the biggest over actor this side of Hoth. But more about that later.
|8. Robot Wars|
|Is there anything more thrilling than watching a bunch of robots who have been drawn on smashing up another bunch or robots who have also been drawn on, against a backdrop that looks like more a Nintendo game than a film set?
Why yes George, there is.
|7. Darth Sillius|
|When Ian McDiarmid appeared in Return of the Jedi, he really chewed up the scenery, but in a good way. He was menacing, evil and every bit the Emperor.
When he changes in Episode 3 into Darth Sidious, he quickly descends into the world of "What the fuck was that?" acting.
If you seek proof, watch Episode 3, the scene in which Mace Windu has him cornered and he utters the phrase,"NO, NO, NO" over and over again like he is on his 5th crack pipe of the day.
|Chemistry is important in your leading players.
Han and Leia had it, shit, even Luke and Yoda had it.
Anakin and Padme don't have it, they are like 2 chairs looking at each other in a forest.
Padme is also the character with the steepest clever-to-stupid arc in the prequels.
In Episode 1, she is an intelligent politician with a wily spirit who is also handy with a blaster. By Episode 3 she is a weeping retard who doesn't even notice Anakin is turning evil. Mind you,I cant really blame her for that as the only way he can show anger is to look like he needs a poo - she probably suspects he is constipated.
|5. Count Dooku|
|Now, when you first heard respected British thespian Christopher Lee addressed as Count Dooku, did you think of a small green vampire duck?
I know I did.
This character is awful and about as menacing as a small green duck.
I don't know what is more laughable, an old frail man fighting in the dark so you cant see his obvious stunt double or the horrendous CGI face they stuck on the stunt man.
|4. The Droids|
|Comic relief is a wonderful thing, when used in the right measures.
The droids in the original trilogy have the perfect amounts of screentime, they come in now and then with a quick gag and exit without bothering you too much.
In the prequels however, they are like a warped version of Cannon and Ball. Very, very annoying.
Remember the scene in which C3P0 has the wrong head on and is one of the bad droids?? I think it was supposed to be funny, but it was the cinematic equivalent of someone driving your car into a cancer ward.
While we are talking about the droids, where did R2D2 get that extra function from? A jet pack? You know, that would have come in very useful in numerous moments in the original trilogy, but he can't even get up stairs in those films. In Episode 2 he is flying around the place like fucking Biggles.
|Wow! Yoda can jump around like a crazy thing! He can do triple somersaults and back flips now! Isn't that cool?!?!
Well, no, it isn't, it is a smelly turd of an idea.
In Episode 1 Yoda was a puppet again, and although he had obviously been moulded by a spazmo, he was slow moving little old man, which befits his appearance.
In Episode 2, he is suddenly a CGI creation, and hey, he can loop the loop and jump about, which is like having a climatic battle in a Steven Seagal film in which George Burns enters to fight Seagal and suddenly is roundhouse kicking and flipping all round the screen.
You would quite rightly be disturbed by the vision - that's because it would be shit, which it is.
|Now, I dont know about you, but when I watched the original Star Wars trilogy, I loved Darth Vader, he was just so bad!
At the end of Return of the Jedi when Luke removes Vader's mask, I was a little taken aback to see that J.R. Hartley from the Yellow Pages adverts was sat inside. He looked about as menacing and evil as my nan.
But, looking back, compared to how he was as a kid, he was fucking Hitler!
Episode 1 would have us believe that Anakin Skywalker was kid so annoying that you are left to suspect that all those Midi-chlorians were working in tandem to just turn him into the galaxy's biggest pain in the arse. When he wasn't whinging he was talking like he had a broom up his arse feeding him lines. He had all the acting ability of a tooth pick and every time he said anything it was like nails on a blackboard.
Obi Wan Kenobi should have really had a quiet word with Qui-Gon-Jin (Note to Lucas: nice name, Bozo) and addressed the fact that they are risking life and limb for a kid who should really be in Home Alone 6 or at the very least Michael Jackson's house.
Imagine the stress and strain of long journies through space with Jimmy Kranky?
I was in that first Jedi council meeting. I remember saying, "This 'boy' is supposed to bring balance to the force? Then why do I want to put a pillow over his face??"
But worry not, because when he reached adolescence he became more and more annoying by being a whole new pain in the arse who cannot act (at least the casting was consistent for the character).
Also, it is worth noting that for the most powerful Jedi that has ever lived he is also the most easily led. All the Emperor has to do is butter him up for 5 minutes and bingo, evil, and not just evil, killing "youngling" (Again, well done George) evil.
I can't help but think that had Anakin been allowed to venture out into the real world for five minutes that he would be a magnet to every con man and fraudster under the sun. Before you can say Naboo his credit cards would be financing every criminal activity and scam in the borough.
Some powerful Jedi he is.
As for his reaction to Padme's death, even in that rock hard suit he acts like a pansy.
It is worth remembering that this trend does continue into the "good trilogy". In Jedi, Luke tells Vader he has good in him and it is almost like Vader thinks about it for a while and then agrees and helps save the day.
Hang on? An hour ago you were eating babies and wiping your robot arse on puppies. Oh, that Anakin, so easily led.
So, next time you see the mask come off at the end of Jedi, remember, he is the cool one.
|1. Jar Jar Binks|
|The worst idea to ever be committed to screen.
What do you do when you feel there isn't enough humour in your film?
Get someone funny to give it the once over and offer advice? Don't be silly.
No, what you do is create a character so annoying and fuckwitted that fans of the original films will want to hang themselves every time he is on screen. What with him and that fucking annoying kid, it is a wonder that the film was allowed to be released without a heavy rating.
How was 'A Clockwork Orange' an X and Episode 1 not? Which is more damaging? The Droogs kicking the shit out of a tramp, or Jar Jar Binks talking shite on screen with Jimmy Kranky whinging endlessly??
There was such a hate campaign towards Jar Jar on the internet at that time that I bet if Hitler was around he would have thought "Come on, he isn't that bad, lay off him."
With each sequel that followed he was buried and featured less and less, which could only be good news right? Nope, Lucas then decided to rape C3PO instead and made that poor sod Jar Jar 2.0.
There were people accusing Lucas of racism after Episode 1 relating to Jar Jar's walk, people felt it was a racist stereotype. I say this is horseshit, it was just bad animation. It must have occurred to the "wizards" (Wizards can be bad too) at ILM that the CGI for Jar Jar that looked pretty ropey in 1999, would look worse and worse as the years went by, but they went ahead anyway.
Before they even knew what they had, they patented it, they packaged it, and now they're selling it.
I'm just going to set up my gallows.
|Comments about This Article|
|oGwL7V I thought it was going to be some boring old post, but it really compensated for my time. I will publish a link to this page on my blog. I am confident my visitors will find that really useful|
Comment By: pron best, 10 May 2017, Rating: 1/5
|wagOQr I value the article post.Really thank you! Fantastic.|
Comment By: jake jilennanal, 09 May 2017, Rating: 2/5
|TjDXlR Nice post. I was checking constantly this blog and I|
Comment By: free pron, 04 Mar 2017, Rating: 4/5
|XlllaO Wow, this post is good, my sister is analyzing these kinds of things, so I am going to let know her.|
Comment By: click here, 01 Feb 2017, Rating: 1/5
|Q92tms There as certainly a great deal to learn about this issue. I really like all of the points you ave made.|
Comment By: suba pron, 26 Nov 2016, Rating: 4/5
|Z2NgoM This web site definitely has all of the information I wanted about this subject and didn at know who to ask.|
Comment By: free pron online, 11 Oct 2016, Rating: 2/5
|S9iyXB Post writing is also a excitement, if you know after that you can write if not it is complicated to write.|
Comment By: best pron, 04 Aug 2016, Rating: 2/5
|dfz98B Studying this information So i am happy to convey that|
Comment By: funny videos, 06 Jul 2016, Rating: 4/5
|JYMkq2 You made some respectable factors there. I appeared on the web for the problem and found most individuals will go together with with your website.|
Comment By: porn movies, 15 May 2016, Rating: 4/5
|Thank you, I ave recently been searching for information about this topic for ages and yours is the greatest I ave discovered till now. But, what about the bottom line? Are you sure about the source?|
Comment By: porn videos, 13 May 2016, Rating: 3/5
|H4oegc Very good article post.Thanks Again. Cool.|
Comment By: photo editor, 06 Apr 2016, Rating: 3/5
|Uc17Tq You have made some really good points there. I looked on the internet for more info about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this web site.|
Comment By: cocoservice, 29 Feb 2016, Rating: 1/5
Comment By: wLUbIaRDIjnWqwVhQG, 01 Jan 2016, Rating: 1/5
|hey there westerner cruatere unfortunately for you I m a student in Poland and i have scholarship there , and i get 1850 Euros per month , and i m only 20and girls that have scholarships from Saudi government get 1850+925 euros per month so who do you think live in a hole ? me or you and your mother ?bro come to talk to me when you make sure who your father is since you people think it s ok that your mother and sis have sex with strangers ..|
Comment By: Nicolas, 01 Dec 2015, Rating: 1/5
|DXuCRY This is one awesome blog article.Much thanks again. Keep writing.|
Comment By: crork fiverr, 28 Nov 2015, Rating: 1/5
|tRvo0E There as definately a great deal to find out about this issue. I like all the points you have made.|
Comment By: crork seo, 09 Nov 2015, Rating: 3/5
|arVOya Thanks for the article post. Keep writing.|
Comment By: crorkservice, 16 Oct 2015, Rating: 3/5
|di1AJk Very good article. I absolutely love this site. Continue the good work!|
Comment By: click, 28 Sep 2015, Rating: 4/5
|WiX6Ja Thanks for the blog article.Really thank you!|
Comment By: crork backlinks, 03 Sep 2015, Rating: 2/5
|LcAorg This is a good,common sense article.Very helpful to one who is just finding the resouces about this part.It will certainly help educate me.|
Comment By: seo servicess, 03 Aug 2015, Rating: 4/5
|RkTn18 Appreciate you sharing, great article post.Really looking forward to read more. Awesome.|
Comment By: links crorkzz, 01 Jul 2015, Rating: 4/5
|UaXMt9 It's really a cool and useful piece of info. I'm happy that you shared this useful information with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.|
Comment By: crorkservice on fiverr, 06 May 2015, Rating: 4/5
|loBA5B Thanks for the good writeup. It in fact was once a enjoyment account it. Glance complex to more brought agreeable from you! By the way, how could we be in contact?|
Comment By: crorkz mattz, 07 Apr 2015, Rating: 2/5
|Z8n58f Of course, what a fantastic site and illuminating posts, I definitely will bookmark your website.All the Best!|
Comment By: crork alise, 07 Mar 2015, Rating: 3/5
|kA7MNs I am continuously looking online for articles that can assist me. Thanks!|
Comment By: awesome seo, 04 Feb 2015, Rating: 1/5
|fCpmm7 Right now it appears like Wordpress is the preferred blogging platform out there right now. (from what I've read) Is that what you are using on your blog?|
Comment By: crorkz linkz, 16 Jan 2015, Rating: 4/5
|bs6RIG Hello! I simply want to give a huge thumbs up for the great data you will have right here on this post. I shall be coming back to your blog for more soon.|
Comment By: crorkz jremy, 23 Nov 2014, Rating: 3/5
|2MJVk8 Great, thanks for sharing this blog article.Really thank you! Keep writing.|
Comment By: matzcrorkz, 05 Aug 2014, Rating: 4/5
|zrssbt Thank you for your post.Much thanks again.|
Comment By: crorkz, 05 Aug 2014, Rating: 2/5
|fBDWAU Great blog post.Thanks Again. Much obliged.|
Comment By: crorkz, 04 Aug 2014, Rating: 3/5
|TyX5AH Appreciate you sharing, great post.Really looking forward to read more. Fantastic.|
Comment By: crorkz, 04 Aug 2014, Rating: 4/5
|vaSiQr A big thank you for your blog.Thanks Again. Will read on...|
Comment By: crorkz matz, 02 Aug 2014, Rating: 1/5
|NjN0VF I really like and appreciate your post.Really thank you! Will read on...|
Comment By: cheap seo services, 03 Jul 2014, Rating: 1/5
|oN7LXG I think this is a real great post.Really looking forward to read more. Keep writing.|
Comment By: cheap seo services, 19 Jun 2014, Rating: 2/5
|R2IgU0 I value the blog.Really thank you! Much obliged.|
Comment By: best seo company, 04 Jun 2014, Rating: 2/5
|Gpb2D2 Thanks so much for the blog post.Thanks Again.|
Comment By: seo for cheap, 12 May 2014, Rating: 1/5
|OfeVeI Thanks-a-mundo for the article. Really Cool.|
Comment By: awesome things!, 18 Apr 2014, Rating: 1/5
|zsXieR Great, thanks for sharing this article.Much thanks again. Awesome.|
Comment By: nice seo guys, 01 Apr 2014, Rating: 2/5
|TEwXSm Great article.Really thank you! Want more.|
Comment By: seo for cheap, 22 Mar 2014, Rating: 4/5
|u9n0lV Thanks for the post.Really thank you!|
Comment By: nice site here, 18 Jan 2014, Rating: 4/5
|LmzUc9 A round of applause for your blog.Thanks Again.|
Comment By: awesome things!, 08 Jan 2014, Rating: 1/5
|n0q03O Im grateful for the article post.Really thank you! Will read on...|
Comment By: check this out, 15 Dec 2013, Rating: 2/5
|QQiW7u Enjoyed every bit of your post.|
Comment By: take a look at it!, 01 Nov 2013, Rating: 3/5
|k6F7gP Im obliged for the blog.Much thanks again. Really Cool.|
Comment By: take a look at it!, 25 Oct 2013, Rating: 2/5
|PUEVW9 Awesome article.Really looking forward to read more. Will read on...|
Comment By: best link build, 16 Oct 2013, Rating: 1/5
|LAPzxD Im thankful for the blog post.Much thanks again. Great.|
Comment By: cheap link building, 25 Sep 2013, Rating: 3/5
|rCdKVd Thanks so much for the article post.Really thank you! Keep writing.|
Comment By: make money online, 13 Sep 2013, Rating: 4/5
|xqKnms A round of applause for your article post.Much thanks again.|
Comment By: online business, 11 Sep 2013, Rating: 3/5
|YE4Yx6 Thank you for your blog post.Much thanks again. Great.|
Comment By: link building, 07 Sep 2013, Rating: 4/5
|fvidwE A round of applause for your article.Much thanks again. Want more.|
Comment By: great link buildng, 20 Aug 2013, Rating: 2/5
|o2HsIz Thanks again for the blog.Really thank you!|
Comment By: great link buildng, 19 Aug 2013, Rating: 4/5
|3KJkmW I truly appreciate this post. Really Great.|
Comment By: super news that are fun, 03 Aug 2013, Rating: 4/5
|asi73F Great, thanks for sharing this article.Much thanks again. Fantastic.|
Comment By: news, 26 Jul 2013, Rating: 1/5
|I really like and appreciate your article.Really thank you! Really Cool.|
Comment By: buy cialis online cheap, 25 Jul 2013, Rating: 4/5
|I think this is a real great blog.Thanks Again. Great.|
Comment By: buy viagra online cheap, 24 Jul 2013, Rating: 4/5
|ZFnStw I think this is a real great article.Much thanks again. Cool.|
Comment By: news and many more, 04 Jul 2013, Rating: 2/5
|cdAPQy Fantastic blog article.Really looking forward to read more. Really Cool.|
Comment By: cheap social bookmarks, 20 Jun 2013, Rating: 1/5
|Very neat blog. Want more.|
Comment By: seo, 07 Jun 2013, Rating: 2/5
|dapuoo Great, thanks for sharing this article post.Much thanks again.|
Comment By: seo service, 27 May 2013, Rating: 1/5
|Rgrtsa Very informative post. Cool.|
Comment By: good seo, 25 May 2013, Rating: 2/5
|KrH5MY I really enjoy the article.Much thanks again. Much obliged.|
Comment By: best compact digital cameras, 14 May 2013, Rating: 1/5
|O8N4SF Thank you for your article.Thanks Again. Really Cool.|
Comment By: buy clomid no prescription, 01 Mar 2013, Rating: 4/5
|FxuCVn I appreciate you sharing this blog article.Really thank you! Will read on...|
Comment By: lose weight pills, 01 Feb 2013, Rating: 2/5
|xmwQlA I really like and appreciate your post. Want more.|
Comment By: Social Bookmarks Service, 21 Dec 2012, Rating: 2/5
|There be trolls in this comments thread for sure.|
Comment By: Glitch, 19 Jul 2012, Rating: 5/5
|I actually agree with this 100%. You can never call yourself a Star Wars fan if you think the prequel trilogy is a set of good movies, cos frankly, they suck. Big time. Big big time. I'd love to know what Lucas was thinking while writing them.|
Comment By: Zack, 24 Jun 2012, Rating: 5/5
|I disagree with everything star wars is amazing and the 1st and 2nd episode were just so good the characters in the prequel were amazing and just watching the movie made you feel like you were in it Lucas is a very smart man for making a blasting adventurous movie
Comment By: belka, 11 Apr 2012, Rating: 0/5
|this is a bunch of bantha fodder!im a Star wars fan,and i nearly stopped reading this.and by the way,Qui-Gon is my favorite Jedi.|
Comment By: Neil, 26 Aug 2011, Rating: 0/5
|The prequels are the biggest piece of shit in the history of cinema!!!|
Comment By: Al, 26 Mar 2010, Rating: 5/5
|Qui-Gon rocked and the name was satisfactory. Podracing was neat. General Grievous was *almost* awesome. Battle Droids were a suitable precursor to stormtroopers. Yoda's action scene was sweet, but they ruined it by giving all the geezers their own uber-fights and ruining Yoda's special nature.
Ever else in the prequels was utter and total shit. Acting, plot, everything, with the despicable Jar and Jar and AWFUL Hayden Christensen leading the pack.
Comment By: Willis, 04 Feb 2010, Rating: 3/5
|it sucks dont dis star wars its awsome|
Comment By: loudlapps, 29 Jan 2010, Rating: 0/5
|I have to say I disagree with most of it, except Jar Jar. I think Count Dooku was a cool character and to give Yoda some nice moves was certinaly a good idea.|
Comment By: Robert, 24 Jan 2010, Rating: 0/5
|Also, can you truly say, hand on heart that Sebulba rocked? Watoo rocked? Qui Gon rocked? The backstreet boys cameo rocked? Young Anakin rocked? Older Anakin rocked? The two headed pod racer commentator rocked? Anakin's mother rocked? C3PO (before he was wiped from being the universe's biggest wanker) rocked? Every charecter in EPisode 2 rocked??? NO. Is the answer. They were all utter, utter, utter shit hurling thunder cunts.|
Comment By: Ben, 12 Nov 2009, Rating: 5/5
|Errrr...The original trilogy? I cant think of an instance on those in which you get the sense someone is as wooden as a tree's cock.|
Comment By: Ted, 12 Nov 2009, Rating: 5/5
|i disagree wth everything. all the ccharacters except jar-jar rocked. tha acting is not perfect i understand. but since when has star wars been known for its actors?|
Comment By: gene, 11 Nov 2009, Rating: 0/5