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Chainsaw - (Other)
I bought a chainsaw from a well known supermarket.
I then bought "The Texas Chainsaw Masacre" to watch how it is done.
Within hours i'd sliced off my own legs and one of my wrists, when my girlfriend tried to help she cut off her face.
I read the instructions whilst recovering in hospital, and during my girlfriend's funeral, no where did it mention the dangers of cutting off limbs.
On a brighter note however, I hate walking and I was going to dump her anyway.
Plus, I must admit I enjoyed the attention.