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Eating Out

02/02/09
Hello, I’d like to share with you an unusual story which may or may not ever have happened to me the last time I went out for a meal.

The year was the 1970’s and I was feeling a little peckish so I set out to find a restaurant able to serve coq o van with mixed vegetables. I searched the land from end to end, then one day I discovered a place called Robins Nest. They asked me if I was an actor as they were in the middle of filming a situation comedy, I said no so they asked me to leave. As I left I shouted to them that they hadn’t heard the last of me; but they had. I never went back to the restaurant again.

On my way home I walked through a wood and came across a bald man with a ginger moustache chasing a three legged chicken. I asked him if he was planning to make coq o van out of the chicken once he caught it. He replied with a no and said that the chicken had stolen his wife’s anniversary present which was an individual ferrero roche. He then asked me to accompany him home and help him explain to his wife ‘Mildrid’ what had happened, in exchange for an introduction to his two attractive female lodgers. I couldn’t refuse, especially as he said the third lodger was a chef and that he may be able to make me some coq au van.

After explaining to Mildrid what had happened I introduced myself to the lodgers and explained my predicament. I was surprised to see they were playing strip poker but strangely only the man had lost any clothes. I asked him if he was the same man who had turned me away form Robins Nest earlier. He replied back that in this reverse timeline those events had yet to happen but he thanked me for helping him with the name of his future bistro. In exchange he offered to make me some coq au van.
I told him that I wasn’t that hungry anymore and if he could make me some and pack it in a tupperware box. He said that he didn’t have one to spare as tupperware was not as common or widespread in the 1970’s as it was in my timeline. At that moment I reflected on the days events and decided it would be best to eat the coq au van straight away.
However as I raised the first piece to my mouth I noticed the fork I was using was a not actually a 1970’s fork but a 21st century copy. Suddenly around me everything started to transform; episodes of George and Mildrid, Man about the House and Robins Nest span round in fast motion. On more than one occasion Tony Britton asked me if I fancied a brandy. Dizzily I sat there as the years spooled by, suddenly Fresh Fields appeared above my head and then things went dark as it transformed into French Fields. I shuddered and closed my eyes hoping the nightmare would end.

Then, , , silence. . . . . .Slowly, I dared to open my eyes once again. As the light flooded in through my widening lashes I realised all the events that had happened on my quest for some coq au van occurred during a sneezing fit caused by a mysterious cat that had snuck in through the back door. I inspected the cats’ dog tag; it read, “if you find Timmy the Time Travelling cat, please return to Richard o’ Sullivan for a small cash money reward. Ps. You can only activate it’s time travelling skills by bumming it, please under no circumstances bum my cat”

“OOps”, I exclaimed. . .


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Comments about This Article

I don't think the pro OHV people and the so caleld Quiet Use' folks are going to change each other's minds too much. I do believe there has been some clarification on each side as to what each group considers fair outcome. However, one misconception occurs almost everytime a group decides that they are against more encroachment into the woods. In this case, I believe the Quiet Use folks are being rolled into a stereotype, and while it is no surprise, I must clarify. First and foremost, I think I can confidently say that nearly all Q.U. members' are environmentalists. It should be noted that being an environmentalist is a good thing. In the last few decades a few narrow minded people have been able to cast the term environmentalist' in a negative light. But an environmentalist is someone who is very much PRO environment. We all exist in this environment. If you are against protecting this fragile environment then you might as well be against human life. There are some people who take things too far who call themselves environmentalists, as there is with any group. But it is a huge mistake to bundle all environmentalists into one radical group. Therefore, it is a mistake to as
Comment By: Ayaz, 01 Dec 2015, Rating: 5/5

Hair transfer also known as hair trinlpsantataon in turkish namesa ekimi is the operation where the hairs are transplanted to the canals which areopened on that the direction of the persons former hair by lateral slits sa ekimi to the requested area.That the follicles which have been genetically healthy are located in the area between two ears and top side of sa ekimi thenape area have been taken one by one with that the help of micromotor that's used by Med Hair team.
Comment By: Janka, 15 Nov 2014, Rating: 5/5

eJFM9i Major thankies for the blog post.Much thanks again.
Comment By: crorkz, 05 Aug 2014, Rating: 3/5

NO! After Mr. Roper made the cat bum-pregant, they were all born with his head and cock. Therefore, I have had our cat destroyed (since writing my last comment) as I don't want to run the risk. By the way, go to bed you little goggle eyed tit.
Comment By: Jeffrey Fourmile, 04 Feb 2009, Rating: 5/5

Are we having kittens ?
Comment By: Tristram Fourmile, 04 Feb 2009, Rating: 5/5

My cat is also now bum-pregnant. I blame you and that horrid Mr. Roper! (Shakes fist)
Comment By: Jeffrey Fourmile, 03 Feb 2009, Rating: 2/5

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