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Hey Arnold

10/08/10
In life, there aren’t many constants worth remembering.

In youth, there were family and friends; but as they die off in mysterious and un-implicating circumstances, and before you can say, “I was alone on a camping holiday officer”. One day you find yourself in the street you hoped you’d never live in, plugging the new 21” Bush widescreen for the first time into the sky box you’d had installed instead of a bed and scouring both movie channels for a film worthy of a first watch on a new telly.
And then you notice the Saturday night premier with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and then, just for 90 minutes or so…
I suppose everyone has their iconic movie figure. When I was a child I remember watching John Wayne films with my Granddad, a great constant for many years. In fact, when I was very young I thought my Granddad was John Wayne; (and also thought the world used to be in black and white); but in my defence, I am an idiot.
I realise this must read very myopic but films are events to me and in company or not, they present a chance to synchronize with myself or others without the usual monotony of everyday life that seems to wiggle it’s way in and leads to arguments or bad vibes.
With my Dad, things weren’t quite so serene. He was into gangster, serial killer, badly dubbed martial arts and 1960’s Italian comedy films.
If you’re not familiar with 1960’s Italian comedy, allow me to illustrate the timeline-

The timeline of Italian comedy :- Communism - Comedy.

However, many communists will argue the presence of propaganda and something which they call neorealism (film about commoners) and pink neorealism (laughing at commoners). Whatever it’s called, comedy it was not, especially when Britain was churning out the likes of The Plank at the same time; but my Dad did find it highly amusing.

So, when my parents disappeared without a trace officer, I was left to forge my own constant, my own comfort blanket; and didn’t realise until recently that I’d taken the immortal presence of John Wayne and integrated it into the action movies my Dad enjoyed.

But unfortunately now, Arnold Schwarzenegger films will remain in the past for now, and with it those resplendent and recurring one liners that I still mimic and often yell at other drivers who cut me off.
I Also miss that bloke with the beard who was in a lot of his earlier films, rarely said anything and then was killed. He was ace.
I don’t think anyone will ever come close to what Arnold Schwarzenegger could offer just with a one liner and a neck snap; from performing Shakespeare to watching him give birth. And when he handed the reins to Dwayne Johnson they should have shot the horse.

So, I’ll leave you with what I consider to be his most memorable line.

arnold at his best



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