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The Good / Bad Old Days
Picture of my old camera taken with my new camera for reasons unknown

06/09/09
Sunday, the day off.

During the week I usually have high hopes of the things I want to do on Sunday. On Tuesday, my big plan was to go to the coast and make use of my new camera. However, by the time Sunday arrives the flood of freedom hits me so hard I usually spend most of the day under the duvet in a quivering ball wondering where it all went wrong. I can't pick a specific point where I was pushed off the ladder, as illustrated in the film Mr. Destiny and can only coincide my descent into wierdsville with the decline of those people with beards and no moustaches who used to predict the end of the world, write a thin novella about it and go on Pebble Mill at one to promote it they day after they initially predicted the Armageddon.
I pride myself that I haven't been into a city centre for nearly ten years but from what I hear there also seems to be a lack of cosmopolitan weirdoes stumbling around with billboards winging 'the end of the world is nigh'; in fact the last time I saw that, was on die hard 3 and he claimed that he was also a meat Popsicle.
Now it seems society has rid the world of those folk it has turned it's attention to those of us who might now and again turn up at the all you can eat oriental buffet before going into a movie and sit at the table for one in a Wally World tee shirt (always in the middle of the bloody place for some reason) and sit there slowly becoming ever conscious of the prying eyes from couples and children as they look for an ankle bracelet or try and place your face from the schools 'if you see this person parked outside, call the police immediately' board; while you sit there like Misseur Hulot or Mr. Bean attempting to break your own wasabi sauce eating challenge until you can feel steam coming from behind your eyeballs as the parents try to overt their children’s gaze because you appear to be crying dayglow green tears and banging the table with your fists.

So, not wanting to disappoint I thought I'd make a calculated prediction on the end of the world in the hope that I can get on the same Pebblemill at one show as Paul Shane as he gives a rendition of 'I've had the time of my life', with his waistcoat fastened so tightly as he strains out, "BABY BABY" in the last chorus one of his mother of pearl buttons explodes out of it's beige cotton stitching and kills the cameraman before the unmanned camera points back to me and I say in a convincing tone, "it's all in the book" before quickly going home and add another chapter.

So, here's the prediction.

After the rise and fall of earths first know societies the Mayans rose from the ashes of Sumeria and put together a new society that gave birth to the modern world. They gave us things such as a clean water supply for all, drains, flushing toilettes, a cow on your birthday, a road system for the Flintstone like cars of the time, the worlds first Tandy, buttons and a three stage electro magnetic pulse rifle. However as corruption gripped the land they also gave rise to government control, strange laws, odd rules, unreasonable taxes and repression.
As history has shown us repeatedly, people will only take it for so long before they rise up and start decapitating those in power for manipulating the world for their own benefit. So inevitably, war consumed and destroyed the land but from these new ashes a small-unknown society emerged called the Casioites. Hardly anything is known of these people other than their pastel clothes and obsession with making things smaller. The only thing they have left behind as a marker to their existence is a small strapless digital watch and four button cell batteries. The digital watch is crude and very basic and doesn’t even have electro luminescence or multiple countdown timers and it only has three alarms; but, and here's where I make my prediction: the calendar runs out in - March

So my friends, do what your doing and do it quick because like that Bloke of dads army said, "don't tell him Pike"


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Comments about This Article

Nikki,Thanks for posting this. I am a high scohol environmental science teacher and I also advise a club called Roots & Shoots, an off-shoot of the Jane Goodall Foundation. I think this is awesome and will definitely look into it as either a class project or maybe one for the club. Currently we are fundraising to support women entrepeneurs in Africa but we might be able to tie into it somehow. In my class, we just discussed last week the plight of the people in Congo as it relates to coltan mining, etc. I love finding new things like this so thanks a lot!!
Comment By: Sonu, 15 Nov 2014, Rating: 4/5

VHQEVe I really liked your article.Really thank you! Awesome.
Comment By: crorkz, 06 Aug 2014, Rating: 3/5

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