Morning all, if you remember the late night t.v of the 1980's you may have seen some of my films. Lets face it, most of it was foreign shit but I made a few classics such as Timestalkers (my own version of the terminator), Android (my own version of the terminator) and Love and money which I insisted they rename love and monkey, which was my own version of the terminator. Don't forget of course my legendery part a Nosferatu the Vampyre; just look how I've spelt vampire, with a ‘y' just like a mad bastard; that's right, a mad bastard who likes his incest.
Anyway, one day after leaving the Ritz video shop after signing a few copies of Venom, (my interpretation of the terminator) on the vr2000 format I popped into pound stretcher for some sports biscuits and was most surprised to find the multipurpose plastic lid I'd invented several years earlier was sitting on the top of a tube of Pringles. Without hesitation I called my agent at the inventors bureaux and asked him why my idea for a multipurpose transparent plastic lid had been stolen by the people at Pringles. He stated that even though I'd invented the lid, Pringles topper was not in the top 7 uses, which were -
1, indoor frisbee
2, a handy and cost effective drinks mat
3, an emergency spoon
4, a fashionable hat
5, a shield withstanding attacks against many a foe
6, a novelty oversize monnacle
7, emergency tectonic plates able to repair earths various fault lines and earthquake hotspots
He also complained that the formula for cold fusion I'd been promising him for several years was remarkably similar to the script for Val Kilmers, 'The Saint'
"Well", I explained; "I am dead"
And as it turns out I was.
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Comments about This Article
Mad.Bastard. I am your. Robot. Assistant. Comment By: Max 404, 26 Nov 2008, Rating: 5/5
You mad bastard. Stop putting snakes in my house while im being a terrorist. Comment By: Dave Averconnelly , 26 Nov 2008, Rating: 5/5