Listen now to the latest An Occasional Theme Podcast: Episode 17 History
Merchandise    Subscribe Follow
Back to the home page Ted tells you what Free Stuff you can Have Hobo Merchandise at Cafe Press All the good stuff The opinions and knowledge of the rich and famous. Reviews of films, books, music and more. Submit your own. Dermot and Ted's Top Ten Preferences Dermot's Dictionary

A LOOK INTO INDEX
A Look Into Cosmology, Quantum Birectol Displacement, and other ramblings with Sir Donald Sinden   Average Rating: 2.4 out of 5
A Look Into The Rolling Stones with Windsor Davies  Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
A Look Into Why I Need to Use Wet Look Gel with Ian McShane  Average Rating: 2.3 out of 5
A Look Into The Mysteries of the Universe with Martin P. Daniels  Average Rating: 2.8 out of 5
A Look Into my reaction to the end of long running science fiction shows with lego indiana jones  Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
A Look Into being a crackpot with Klaus Kinski  Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Look Into Going To The Toilet Outdoors with Bear Grylls   Average Rating: 2.5 out of 5
A Look Into The Seedy World of Underground Sports with Trevor McDonald  Average Rating: 2.4 out of 5
A Look Into Saving The Fish with Ted Danson  Average Rating: 3.1 out of 5
A Look Into Area 51 with Larry Hagman  Average Rating: 2.2 out of 5
A Look Into Cross-Dressing with Eddie Izzard  Average Rating: 2.5 out of 5
A Look Into pathalogical lying with Steven Seagal  Average Rating: 2.5 out of 5
A Look Into Cooking with Richard Griffiths  Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A Look Into getting kicked in the bollocks with Michel Lonsdale  Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
A Look Into Shooting Monkeys with Kelsey Grammer  Average Rating: 3 out of 5
More...
A Look Into Going To The Toilet Outdoors with Bear Grylls
Hello all. I am Bear Grylls, no relation to George Foreman Grills. I am here today to talk about the awkward act that is going to the toilet outdoors. Whether it be weeing up against a tree or dumping in a foxhole, it needs to be done when you are living in the wilderness, what like I do.
I first realised that I liked living outdoors when Home and Away went to Channel 5. We couldn't get Channel 5 in my village and I was desperate to know what was going on in Summer Bay and if Bobby was alright, also, I wanted to know if Sally's imaginary friend Milko was still spying on Pippa when she was in the nud, so, driven mad by not knowing what was happening, I moved my entire family into the woods. Someone told me that Neighbours is now on Channel 5 as well, that makes me more sure that I did the right thing by moving into the forest.
If you ever wish to come and see me living wild in the woods, I live on the wooded section by the M25, near the services, so I can still buy my dirty mags and cigs, and have a KFC now and then.
Living in the wilderness isn't all tents, Swiss army knives, mouth organs, marshmallows and wanking. You will sometimes have to lay some cable or do a wee. I find that a trowel is the best weapon to have in these situations, you can either dig a hole for plops, or use it as a make shift water feature spout type thing. Once, a badger appeared in a clearing and watched me whilst I was weeing, the more I wee'd, the more interested and disarmed the Badger seemed. It suddenly dawned on me we are all nature, sharing a giant wilderness and that in that moment, the Badger had reached out to me and touched my heart. I couldn't resist, I aimed my tadger at that badger and wee'd all over his head, he seemed jolly annoyed, but i thought it was hilarious. Next time I hope to poo on him, just to show him who is boss, stupid Badger.
I often have friends round in my wilderness camp, to share some adventure. Bradley Walsh is forever out in my camp, he even talks to me while he is pooing. Something that to be honest, I am not very keen on. I think they all come out here to prepare for that "I'm a Celebrity" shit. I tell them that they shouldn't do it as it is basically humiliation on a grand scale, then they remind me about prancing about in the nude in the Arctic with my shriveled cock hanging out, and I remember to be quiet.
I wanted to do a version of "I'm a Celebrity" but have it toilet based. No one was interested, apart from everyone who has been on "I'm a celebrity", but I was only considering celebrities.
No one really wants to see Tommy Cannon and Bobby Ball crouched down with their kecks around their ankles curling one out. They would much rather see Tim Vincent or Ian off of Eastenders. Real stars.
The only thing that I kept with me from the outside world is my Austin Princess. It never fails to start and even once when I flattened the battery, it recharged it itself, very clever stuff. I would never poo or wee in it like Axl Foley would.
Join me next time when I show you my home made tent.
Nothing written on this site is intended to be true or factual, and none of the celebrities named in the 'Look Into' section have anything to do with this website. Their 'contributions' are entirely fictional and have been created by the authors of Hobo-Bonobo. The opinions expressed on Hobo-Bonobo.co.uk are not those of anyone, particularly not the people to whom they have been accredited.

Comments about This Article

TzTj3N It is challenging to get knowledgeable guys and ladies with this topic, nevertheless, you be understood as there as far more you are preaching about! Thanks
Comment By: Get the facts, 01 Feb 2017, Rating: 2/5

yswPkl site link on your page at suitable place and
Comment By: suba bob, 26 Nov 2016, Rating: 1/5

ReyBQ4 Wow! This could be one particular of the most beneficial blogs We have ever arrive across on this subject. Basically Great. I am also an expert in this topic therefore I can understand your hard work.
Comment By: makarena, 10 Oct 2016, Rating: 4/5

LO9AoN Muchos Gracias for your post.Really thank you! Fantastic.
Comment By: best pron, 03 Aug 2016, Rating: 1/5

kPDESE slot machine gratis gallina dalle uova d aoro
Comment By: cuck your mom, 06 Jul 2016, Rating: 4/5

VA4jEo Thanks-a-mundo for the post.Thanks Again. Cool.
Comment By: porn videos, 16 May 2016, Rating: 1/5

Whoa! This blog looks exactly like my old one! It as on a completely different subject but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Wonderful choice of colors!
Comment By: porn movies, 14 May 2016, Rating: 3/5

Great initshg! That's the answer we've been looking for.
Comment By: Jeannie, 08 May 2016, Rating: 5/5

j0s6vt It as not that I want to replicate your website, but I really like the pattern. Could you tell me which theme are you using? Or was it especially designed?
Comment By: mark editor, 06 Apr 2016, Rating: 4/5

bC9VGi Thorn of Girl Very good information and facts could be discovered on this online blog.
Comment By: fiverr cocoservice, 31 Mar 2016, Rating: 2/5

oZLdZ2 Wow, fantastic weblog structure! How long have you been running a blog for? you made blogging glance easy. The entire look of your website is excellent, let alone the content!
Comment By: cocoservice on fiverr, 01 Mar 2016, Rating: 4/5

rxMKXe
Comment By: edZvrTXiqAUhNRCj, 01 Jan 2016, Rating: 4/5

MKitPJ When I look at your blog in Ie, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.
Comment By: fiverr crorkservice, 28 Nov 2015, Rating: 1/5

NuYeRZ Thanks , I have just been looking for info about this topic for ages and yours is the greatest I have discovered so far. But, what about the bottom line? Are you sure about the source?
Comment By: crork service, 08 Nov 2015, Rating: 4/5

oAvY9r Major thanks for the post.Really thank you! Cool.
Comment By: crork service, 17 Oct 2015, Rating: 4/5

KKhJVr Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! By the way, how can we communicate?
Comment By: crorkzz, 03 Aug 2015, Rating: 3/5

vqZrt6 Great, thanks for sharing this article post.Really thank you! Much obliged.
Comment By: crorkzz, 01 Jul 2015, Rating: 3/5

WXKjgD Very neat article.Really thank you! Really Great.
Comment By: crorkzz, 10 Jun 2015, Rating: 4/5

GcQsIF Hello. Great job. I did not expect this. This is a impressive story. Thanks!
Comment By: crorkservice, 06 May 2015, Rating: 1/5

XYheXT There is noticeably a bundle to learn about this. I assume you made sure good factors in features also.
Comment By: crork alise, 07 Mar 2015, Rating: 1/5

pejAFw Great write-up, I'm regular visitor of one's web site, maintain up the nice operate, and It is going to be a regular visitor for a long time.
Comment By: cheap seo services, 04 Feb 2015, Rating: 3/5

zrMcGk You made certain nice points there. I did a search on the issue and found mainly people will consent with your blog.
Comment By: crorkz mattz, 16 Jan 2015, Rating: 4/5

5PJPS7 whoah this weblog is magnificent i love reading your posts. Keep up the good paintings! You know, lots of individuals are looking around for this information, you could help them greatly.
Comment By: matz crorkz, 23 Nov 2014, Rating: 3/5

При натискане на бутона Поръчки в администрацията излиза това:Error: Table natata_rex.econt_order' doesn't existError No: 1146SELECT * FROM econt_order WHERE order_id = '3 Аз нямам активиран еконт!!! През таблото успявам да стигна до редакция на поръчките, но коагато натисна след това Отказ излиза същата грешка!!!!Някакви идеиVN:F [1.9.20_1166]моля изчакайте...Оценка: 0.0/5 (0 votes )
Comment By: Licia, 15 Nov 2014, Rating: 1/5

qFPkDt Useful information. Lucky me I found your site unintentionally, and I am surprised why this coincidence didn't happened in advance! I bookmarked it.
Comment By: mattew crorkz, 21 Oct 2014, Rating: 1/5

18b7hW Great blog.Really thank you! Awesome.
Comment By: crorkz matz, 05 Aug 2014, Rating: 1/5

bYFp1P Really appreciate you sharing this blog article.Thanks Again. Will read on...
Comment By: crorkz matz, 04 Aug 2014, Rating: 4/5

bUacw3 Wow, great blog post.
Comment By: crorkz matz, 01 Aug 2014, Rating: 3/5

doWPiK I loved your article post.Thanks Again. Will read on...
Comment By: cheap seo services, 04 Jul 2014, Rating: 4/5

GxiPUq Muchos Gracias for your blog article.Really thank you! Cool.
Comment By: nice penalty removal, 17 Jun 2014, Rating: 3/5

NU6nnW I value the blog.Really thank you! Cool.
Comment By: seo cheap, 04 Jun 2014, Rating: 2/5

KcLCwI I appreciate you sharing this article post.Much thanks again. Really Cool.
Comment By: check it out, 11 May 2014, Rating: 2/5

H5oVfk I loved your article.Much thanks again. Really Cool.
Comment By: awesome things!, 20 Apr 2014, Rating: 1/5

oaOm33 Thanks so much for the article.Really looking forward to read more. Great.
Comment By: nice seo guys, 01 Apr 2014, Rating: 3/5

m3AzXQ Thanks for sharing, this is a fantastic blog.Really thank you! Great.
Comment By: nice seo guys, 22 Mar 2014, Rating: 2/5

Qfegfv Say, you got a nice post.Really thank you! Keep writing.
Comment By: stunning seo guys, 28 Feb 2014, Rating: 3/5

eQUaze Very informative post. Will read on...
Comment By: look at this, 18 Jan 2014, Rating: 1/5

FloQlj I cannot thank you enough for the blog post.Thanks Again. Want more.
Comment By: awesome things!, 08 Jan 2014, Rating: 1/5

yDbbVq Very good blog.Really thank you! Really Great.
Comment By: you want this now, 14 Dec 2013, Rating: 3/5

goYTFt Thanks for sharing, this is a fantastic article.Much thanks again. Awesome.
Comment By: awesome stuff here, 18 Nov 2013, Rating: 4/5

JI1xfo I value the article post.Much thanks again. Really Great.
Comment By: top seo guys, 01 Nov 2013, Rating: 1/5

ns30wy I value the blog article.Really thank you! Awesome.
Comment By: top seo guys, 24 Oct 2013, Rating: 1/5

pSQM9r Really informative article post.Thanks Again. Great.
Comment By: link building team, 16 Oct 2013, Rating: 4/5

ROeNDE I really liked your article post.Thanks Again. Much obliged.
Comment By: cheap link building, 24 Sep 2013, Rating: 2/5

9599Th Very neat article.Really looking forward to read more. Awesome.
Comment By: make money online, 13 Sep 2013, Rating: 1/5

Aj1Ki5 Thanks for the blog post. Much obliged.
Comment By: the best seo service, 06 Sep 2013, Rating: 2/5

How does one take a dump in the Artic, or while climbing Mt. Everest. The extreme cold would be a hazard. You'd literally freeze your Johnson off.
Comment By: Ron, 22 Feb 2010, Rating: 3/5

I knew it, proof indeed that bears do shit in the woods.
Comment By: PC Plod, 06 Oct 2008, Rating: 2/5

Comment on This Article
Your comment will be added automatically once you click on submit.
Your name:
Comment:
Overall Rating out of Five:
ZeroOneTwoThreeFourFive

HOBO-BONOBO.co.uk
Back to Index Page | What's New | Search | Links | Link to Us | Feedback | Contact Us | Site Map
The opinions expressed on Hobo-Bonobo.co.uk are not those of anyone, particularly not the people to whom they have been accredited.
The content of the site is intended to be humourous, and is not intended to offend anyone.