Hey guys. As you all probably know, I am an animal lover. I don't mean sexing up a Dog or rubbing off a Giraffe. I mean in a Platonic way, just like I loved Carla or Cliff or the other ones. I have for many years now been caring for Dolphins, like it was popular to do in the late 1980's. I also really care for Tuna, so I am in a real bind here morally, do I save the Dolphin or the Tuna? What I tend to do is just wade in to where the nets are and beat the first one with a rolling pin that I see, if it swims off I let it live, if it dies I get Mary Steenburgen, my wife, to make a lovely and juicy Admirals Pie. Living in Los Angeles, it is good to have a "cause" to worry about, after all, life is sweet, you have to "give something back".
My friend Andie McDowell really cares about (Well, i say friend, I don't really like her, she ruined "Hudson Hawk", my fave all time film) "Socks for Owls". A new charity that really cares about getting all the Owls in the world into a pair of socks, I don't really see the point in that one to be honest, sounds like an air-headed waste of time, mind you, she does let me drive her Austin Princess, it really is a dream of a ride.
You know, once I had such a bad ankle that my shoe wouldn't go on, never mind "Socks for Owls", what about "Special Shoes for Becker!"
Another buddy of mine, Jerry Springer, drives around in a miniature go-kart and always wears the same "Friday the 13th Part 7 : A New Blood" T-shirt, he will sometimes put on the hockey mask and stand outside of my window saying, "ke-ke-ke-ko-ko-ko". It used to scare Mary, but not now, she usually now just laughs, which worries me, one day it could actually be Jason Voorhees and she could be hacked to pieces, just like "Friday the 13th Part 3D".
Interesting fact, I was offered the role of Rocky, but I turned it down as they wanted me to do boxing, I thought it would be about landscape gardening, one of my favourite ways of spending a Sunday (Not anymore, I hire a Mexican called Diko to do it, he is very discreet) So, Stallone did it and it made him a big star, good for him. I know that sounds bitter, but I'm not, after all, I got to play the Woof when Michael J. Fox turns into the Teen Woof in the film "Teen Woof". Plus, I get to kiss Boof at the end, and she is much better than Adrian, which, by the way, is a mans name anyway.
I once caught a fish, I put it back, I couldn't stand to see the poor thing suffer. Though, when I put it back it didn't move much, or for that matter say thank you, I had only had it out of the water for a few hours. Then there was the time I saved a fish from being eaten, I whipped it right off of Clint Eastwood's plate at the Oscars in 1986, he was annoyed, but I told him why I was doing it, he seemed to be happy with my explanation, he punched me. I put the fish back into the sea and it did nothing, it sank if anything, which I thought is exactly what they shouldn t do? Now I come to think of it, fish really are dicky idiots, they cant even breathe, ass-wipes. Fuck them, I give up.
Nothing written on this site is intended to be true or factual, and none of the celebrities named in the 'Look Into' section have anything to do with this website. Their 'contributions' are entirely fictional and have been created by the authors of Hobo-Bonobo. The opinions expressed on Hobo-Bonobo.co.uk are not those of anyone, particularly not the people to whom they have been accredited.
Comments about This Article
N8o34s Comment By: RopccjRjPw, 31 Dec 2015, Rating: 3/5
sHvRcp Just Browsing While I was browsing today I noticed a great post about Comment By: fiverr crorkservice, 28 Nov 2015, Rating: 4/5
7b1u3c Major thanks for the blog. Keep writing. Comment By: fiverr seo, 16 Oct 2015, Rating: 4/5
BD7PKP Looking forward to reading more. Great blog post. Fantastic. Comment By: crorkservice fiverr, 16 Oct 2015, Rating: 2/5
BNViQi pretty practical material, overall I believe this is worthy of a bookmark, thanks Comment By: link building, 27 Sep 2015, Rating: 4/5
eMdEDn You are my aspiration, I have few blogs and very sporadically run out from post. Fiat justitia et pereat mundus.Let justice be done, though the world perish. by Ferdinand I. Comment By: crork service, 02 Sep 2015, Rating: 2/5
lEhMCC mulberry alexa handbags mulberry alexa handbags Comment By: matt crorkzz, 04 Aug 2015, Rating: 4/5
TnMbFT Thank you for your blog.Really looking forward to read more. Fantastic. Comment By: crorkzz, 30 Jun 2015, Rating: 1/5
1PovjI Thanks so much for the article.Really thank you! Want more. Comment By: crorkzz, 10 Jun 2015, Rating: 3/5
jQteij Nice weblog right here! Also your site so much up very fast! What host are you using? Can I am getting your affiliate link to your host? I desire my website loaded up as quickly as yours lol Comment By: fiverr crork, 05 May 2015, Rating: 4/5
v0um4K I like what you guys are usually up too. This kind of clever work and exposure! Keep up the superb works guys I've added you guys to my personal blogroll. Comment By: crorkz mattz, 07 Apr 2015, Rating: 2/5
FDqPqn I have been reading out some of your stories and i must say nice stuff. I will make sure to bookmark your site. Comment By: crork alise, 06 Mar 2015, Rating: 4/5
4yzTzE I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great. I do not know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous blogger if you are not already ;) Cheers! Comment By: cheap seo services, 05 Feb 2015, Rating: 2/5
uP7TyY Wow, marvelous blog structure! How lengthy have you ever been running a blog for? you made blogging glance easy. The overall glance of your website is great, as well as the content! Comment By: crorkz, 16 Jan 2015, Rating: 2/5
N3Ahhc Terrific work! This is the type of information that should be shared around the internet. Shame on Google for not positioning this post higher! Come on over and visit my site . Thanks =) Comment By: crorkz jremy, 23 Nov 2014, Rating: 4/5
You've really helped me undenstard the issues. Thanks. Comment By: Rick, 15 Nov 2014, Rating: 0/5
EwAmyF Awesome blog post. Cool. Comment By: matzcrorkz, 06 Aug 2014, Rating: 2/5
sgzpVc Very good blog article.Thanks Again. Much obliged. Comment By: crorkz, 06 Aug 2014, Rating: 4/5
wbzCvl Thanks-a-mundo for the article post.Much thanks again. Cool. Comment By: mattew crorkz, 01 Aug 2014, Rating: 1/5
TtNtec Thanks a lot for the blog.Really looking forward to read more. Comment By: good backlinks, 04 Jul 2014, Rating: 4/5
BHuHOM Thanks a lot for the blog.Really thank you! Cool. Comment By: nice penalty removal, 18 Jun 2014, Rating: 3/5
NJ6PQx A round of applause for your blog.Much thanks again. Really Cool. Comment By: seo cheap, 04 Jun 2014, Rating: 2/5
OnY7aM Im grateful for the article post.Much thanks again. Keep writing. Comment By: check it out, 17 Apr 2014, Rating: 2/5
wLfz3t I value the article.Much thanks again. Want more. Comment By: nice site here, 16 Jan 2014, Rating: 1/5
Qkmzmq Im thankful for the blog post.Much thanks again. Will read on... Comment By: awesome things!, 08 Jan 2014, Rating: 3/5
REgW3h Great blog article.Much thanks again. Awesome. Comment By: you want this now, 15 Dec 2013, Rating: 4/5
baiXab Major thankies for the blog post.Thanks Again. Great. Comment By: link building, 02 Nov 2013, Rating: 1/5
jTGggt Awesome blog post.Much thanks again. Cool. Comment By: smashing top seo, 23 Oct 2013, Rating: 2/5
KsWy6C Great, thanks for sharing this blog.Thanks Again. Great. Comment By: link building team, 16 Oct 2013, Rating: 2/5
Oca6zt Thanks so much for the blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Awesome. Comment By: awesome link building, 24 Sep 2013, Rating: 4/5
V2pJlv Very neat blog article.Really looking forward to read more. Keep writing. Comment By: online business, 13 Sep 2013, Rating: 2/5
sbS1UM Appreciate you sharing, great article post.Really looking forward to read more. Cool. Comment By: link building, 08 Sep 2013, Rating: 2/5
I'm just a guy on a donkey ! Comment By: The guy on a donkey, 01 Oct 2008, Rating: 5/5
Im still waiting for my raindeer goat cheese pizza. Comment By: Butterfinger, 01 Oct 2008, Rating: 5/5
The last time you saw me I was bald, beard with no moustache and I had a different nose. Comment By: George Kaplan, 01 Oct 2008, Rating: 5/5
Pardon my British non-headiness. Comment By: Alfred, 01 Oct 2008, Rating: 5/5
Bunny has my ball-ball. Comment By: Hudson Hawk, 01 Oct 2008, Rating: 5/5
If Da Vinci was alive today, he'd be eating microwave sushi, naked, in the back of a Cadillac with the both of us Comment By: Richard E. Grant, 01 Oct 2008, Rating: 5/5
Why not, I was the one who got decapitated. Comment By: Alfred, 01 Oct 2008, Rating: 5/5
Neither of us will be attending the hat convention in July. . Comment By: Sandra Bernhard & Richard E. Grant, 01 Oct 2008, Rating: 5/5
Looks like you wont be attending that hat Convention in July. Comment By: Hudson Hawk, 01 Oct 2008, Rating: 5/5
Can you fucking believe it; sprinkler system in the limo ! ! Comment By: Danny Aiello, 01 Oct 2008, Rating: 5/5
And you never will !! Comment By: Captain Bob, 01 Oct 2008, Rating: 5/5
Dear Ted, you're height always scared me but I feel that your love of Hudson Hawk will bring us closer together. I never did find out where Captain Bob got his steering wheel from. . Comment By: Walter Willis, 01 Oct 2008, Rating: 5/5