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A Look Into Cosmology, Quantum Birectol Displacement, and other ramblings with Sir Donald Sinden   Average Rating: 2.2 out of 5
A Look Into The Rolling Stones with Windsor Davies  Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
A Look Into Why I Need to Use Wet Look Gel with Ian McShane  Average Rating: 2.4 out of 5
A Look Into The Mysteries of the Universe with Martin P. Daniels  Average Rating: 2.8 out of 5
A Look Into my reaction to the end of long running science fiction shows with lego indiana jones  Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Look Into being a crackpot with Klaus Kinski  Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Look Into Going To The Toilet Outdoors with Bear Grylls   Average Rating: 2.4 out of 5
A Look Into The Seedy World of Underground Sports with Trevor McDonald  Average Rating: 2.3 out of 5
A Look Into Saving The Fish with Ted Danson  Average Rating: 3.2 out of 5
A Look Into Area 51 with Larry Hagman  Average Rating: 2.2 out of 5
A Look Into Cross-Dressing with Eddie Izzard  Average Rating: 2.5 out of 5
A Look Into pathalogical lying with Steven Seagal  Average Rating: 2.8 out of 5
A Look Into Cooking with Richard Griffiths  Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A Look Into getting kicked in the bollocks with Michel Lonsdale  Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A Look Into Shooting Monkeys with Kelsey Grammer  Average Rating: 3.1 out of 5
A Look Into Area 51 with Larry Hagman
Howdy Y'all; Larry here, you may know me as the Hagmeister, Larry Cool, or Chuppa Chupps Hagman. You may even remember me for teaming up the late great Brion James with the famous cockney dialogue coach Dick Van Dyke, but one things for sure, you don't know what I've been doing for the last few years; well my friends I'll tell you.
As an air force test pilot I was extremely surprised when they told me that I hadn't been living with a Genie for several years but in fact had spent the time behind a set of wheely bins round the back of Pound Stretcher off the high street in Kidderminster pissed out my skull. Anyway, after my fifth liver transplant I began thinking they were right so I set my life back on course with my now famous 5 step get your life back on track programme:-
Step 1, Stop drinking, (in public)
Step 2, Remove what ever has died up your arse
Step 3, Post seaman sample to Babs Eden and Babs Windsor
Step 4, Drive everywhere in a golf buggy
Step 5, Shag Miss Ellie at the Oil Baron's ball, on the table in front of Patrick Duffy and Howard Keel whilst farting, "Bless your beautiful hide" in b flat
Trust me, it works, it's not a gimmick and it helped me discover what dangers mankind faces from the mysterious area 51.
The secret entrance to area 51 lies beneath baboon island at Flamingo Land. It's quite a long tunnel at 5460 miles but that's where the golf buggy comes in handy. It consists of a 8 foot x 10 foot shed with a female vic 20 super computer chained to a post. It was like a scene from Alien 2, (Aliens) as the queen vic 20 gave birth to smaller vic 20s to take over the world. I watched in horror as it quickly evolved to give birth to a spectrum 128 with floppy disk drive.
I had to regain my composure for the sake of mankind so after a swift swig of some paint stripper out of a brown paper bag I plucked up the courage to switch her off at the mains.
She screamed,
10, "fuck you Hagman"
20, goto 10
Before her final words, "syntax error at line 10"
I had saved the world again and in doing so became the Chuppa Chupps spokesman.
It's just unfortunate her last words would haunt me like Derek Acorah haunts my pants. Either way I'm back on the booze now behind Pound Stretcher where I belong.

Oh yeah; Larry
Nothing written on this site is intended to be true or factual, and none of the celebrities named in the 'Look Into' section have anything to do with this website. Their 'contributions' are entirely fictional and have been created by the authors of Hobo-Bonobo. The opinions expressed on are not those of anyone, particularly not the people to whom they have been accredited.

Comments about This Article

that a few months ago, I was perveiced as a minor annoyance, but that now I'm actively hated. So how can I leave when those active haters will claim victory ?Finally, I happened to have watched how the US media handled the Chomsky-Faurisson affair, and you know I have an odd slight personal relationship with him.I believe that by staying there, I can do my bit to carry on his fight.But this is a political matter not within the real subject matter of your blog, and that's all I will say about that.I'm sorry I made even that veiled reference about you - I never expected the posted to come back with such a vicious slander.But it's not just him, LesV - you made your mark there because people knew you were right about a lot of things and said those things in such a way that no one could possibly wriggle off the hook.Anyway, I continue to read here and be amazed by your control of both style and substance. As I have said before, it is like listening to a virtuouso classical guitarist play "Recuerdos d'Alhambra", which I am sure you have many opportunities to hear where you have been living recently.Your tremolo technique is so good and so perfect and so seamless that the melo
Comment By: Velavan, 01 Dec 2015, Rating: 0/5

Emily and Joshua,I am the transcription susvpeiror at Beaufort Memorial Hospital and I work with Judy. What a lovely beautiful baby girl. I wanted to tell you congratulations from Illinois. Judy sent me this page so I could see what her new grandbaby looked like. Also, what a neat name! Congratulations to all. Take care. Cindy
Comment By: Hannah, 16 Nov 2014, Rating: 3/5

cDTHYG I really like and appreciate your article post.Really looking forward to read more. Much obliged.
Comment By: matzcrorkz, 05 Aug 2014, Rating: 3/5

JR I'm leaving you for Cliff Barnes!
Comment By: Sue Ellen, 23 Sep 2008, Rating: 2/5

I have told you before, get out of our dustbins. They smell like rotting Dallas.
Comment By: Clive Stubbs, Manager of Pound Stretcher, 23 Sep 2008, Rating: 3/5

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The opinions expressed on are not those of anyone, particularly not the people to whom they have been accredited.
The content of the site is intended to be humourous, and is not intended to offend anyone.