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A Look Into Cosmology, Quantum Birectol Displacement, and other ramblings with Sir Donald Sinden   Average Rating: 2.2 out of 5
A Look Into The Rolling Stones with Windsor Davies  Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
A Look Into Why I Need to Use Wet Look Gel with Ian McShane  Average Rating: 2.4 out of 5
A Look Into The Mysteries of the Universe with Martin P. Daniels  Average Rating: 2.8 out of 5
A Look Into my reaction to the end of long running science fiction shows with lego indiana jones  Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Look Into being a crackpot with Klaus Kinski  Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Look Into Going To The Toilet Outdoors with Bear Grylls   Average Rating: 2.4 out of 5
A Look Into The Seedy World of Underground Sports with Trevor McDonald  Average Rating: 2.3 out of 5
A Look Into Saving The Fish with Ted Danson  Average Rating: 3.2 out of 5
A Look Into Area 51 with Larry Hagman  Average Rating: 2.2 out of 5
A Look Into Cross-Dressing with Eddie Izzard  Average Rating: 2.5 out of 5
A Look Into pathalogical lying with Steven Seagal  Average Rating: 2.8 out of 5
A Look Into Cooking with Richard Griffiths  Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A Look Into getting kicked in the bollocks with Michel Lonsdale  Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A Look Into Shooting Monkeys with Kelsey Grammer  Average Rating: 3.1 out of 5
A Look Into why I manipulated the course of history so Dangermouse could exist with Peter Wyngarde
Hello, I'm Peter Wyngarde. You may not remember me but I remember you. If you do remember me It may be for my part as Jason King in the popular show of the same name or perhaps for elevating Anton Rodgers to an acting god or even for my music. One things for sure, in the early 70's I had it all and I smelt great, really great.
Cars, woman, a moustache and hairdoo which were legendry. Alas, 'twas not enough.
One weekday in 1972 everything changed; after leaving my batchelor pad, 'Alan', early in the afternoon I found myself as always checking me out in the reflection of my Bentley when I was momenteraly distracted, looking frantically up and down Baker street in posh London I realised there was not one lady out there whose cherry I hadn't cracked. With haste I slipped inside the Bently; (or Alan as I called her in a saucy french way), carressing her supple leather seats as slid my manly yet soft hands closer and closer to her throbbing, vibrating gearstick allowing my pinky ring to rub gently over her leather head, slowly but with the force of a predator I moved my head towards it moistening my manly moustache ; (or as I call her, Aran in a saucy Chineese way), in anticipation. I was startled when a voice in the back seat asked if this was in the script; "Nooo", I yelled, "I can't do this anymore". There were more important things at hand.
"Do what ?", said the director.
I had to think quick, I had to leave this life of being an actor and a gentleman with a non gentlemanly lie.
"This, I'm supposed to be a secret agent but your always filming me"
There was a brief silence before they slipped out of Alan. At last I was free.
Now, having gentlemanly sex with every woman on earth does something to a man, especially a man's man. It was like that bit at the end of Highlander when Larry Fishburn tells Zardoz he's the one; well, all the knowledge in the universe was handed to me filtered through Aran straight into my mouth. I knew what I had to do; times, places and dates; It would all come together in 1981. However my work would finish in Gloucester, 1975.

The time and date - 1975, a weekday - Three years had past, I emerged from the post box I had been hiding in with 89 episodes of pure gold revolving round a gentleman mouse, his plucky young assistant and their yellow Bentley.
The place - a Gloucester bus station
The person - Angus P. Allan
The charge - Gross Indecency
The outcome - One happy Peter with the unchartered frontier of man loving ahead of him and the part of General Klytus in Flash Gordon to look foreward to
The benefit to the world - Well; you decide !!

Your pal, P.W

Nb. For the record, Angus P. Allan claimed I forced myself on him at the bus station and that I handed him 17,000 pages with nothing but Alan written on them and that in doing this could have not manipulated the couse of history.
Well; you decide !!


(Courtesy of Mr Lego Indiana Jones)
Nothing written on this site is intended to be true or factual, and none of the celebrities named in the 'Look Into' section have anything to do with this website. Their 'contributions' are entirely fictional and have been created by the authors of Hobo-Bonobo. The opinions expressed on are not those of anyone, particularly not the people to whom they have been accredited.

Comments about This Article

qpC2re I really liked your post. Awesome.
Comment By: check out these guys!, 16 Oct 2013, Rating: 4/5

FeQZXn Looking forward to reading more. Great post.Really thank you! Will read on...
Comment By: online business, 13 Sep 2013, Rating: 4/5

Hah! Is that really Tom's idea of hobo-hair? Phew. He shloud get a peek at Chris when he lets his hair grow for a month or two longer than it shloud.Also, I love the term greasy spoon. Sometimes those places can just hit the spot.
Comment By: Longki, 01 Apr 2013, Rating: 2/5

Dear Peter, can I have my pinky ring back. This will be my final request before I send in the boys.
Comment By: Baron Silas Von Greenback, 02 Aug 2008, Rating: 0/5

Si, Baroni; you wanna me to whack Dangermouse because he taka the shit on your table.
Comment By: Stiletto, 02 Aug 2008, Rating: 5/5

alan, alan, alan, alan, alan, alan -
Thats another episode penned.
Comment By: Penfold, 02 Aug 2008, Rating: 5/5

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The opinions expressed on are not those of anyone, particularly not the people to whom they have been accredited.
The content of the site is intended to be humourous, and is not intended to offend anyone.