Hello, I am the one they call Sean Connery.
Many years ago when I decided to play James Bond again in the 1983 film, ďNever Say Never AgainĒ (remember the 80ís? Space hoppers, Mott the Hoople and Platform shoes?) I looked so young and handsome, especially when I was necking with Kim Bassinger, and when I flew a jet pack out of the sea and back in again. I thought at the time that my looks and fame would last forever, and of course, they have.
But some were not so lucky.
The Dinosaurs died out nearly 65 Million years ago according to ďJurassic ParkĒ which by the way annoys me, why didnít they ask me to play John Hammond? Iím actually Scottish and I know so much about Dinosaurs, go on ask me any question.
Instead they got that Attenborough bloke to play the part, he was terrible, and he sounded Welsh.
Anyway, I digress. The Dinosaurs were once the dominant force on the planet, a bit like the Austin Princess in the late 1970ís, suddenly they died out and became fossils, and now men in shorts dig them up, paint them brown, hang them from string and charge you £8 to look at them, again, a bit like the Austin Princess, talking of which, I still have my original Princess, it is a dream of a ride, I can hardly believe how much can fit in that boot - when we went shopping to Iceland last week, the amount of frozen pizza, crisps and fizzy pop we got in there was unbelievable. I drove while I tucked into my lovely Admiralís Pie and sipped on my cherry Panda Pop.
My favourite dinosaur has to be the one with the long neck, the Diplihocuspocussawus I think itís called, wow, what a creature, I would have probably made friends with it if I lived then, we could have had so much fun. I would have probably have named it Lucas, imagine that.
Lucas and I went to the coast today and saw a big one with a horn in its head, Lucas protected me and I bought him an ice cream. Lucas would have been the best friend a man could have, sort of like Roger Moore but with a long neck. Roger likes dinosaurs too; we both went to the Natural History museum last year, I got a pencil sharpener in the shape of one and Roger got a pencil case with a big angry looking dinosaur on it, itís sort of luminous, so all his pens and pencils glow, it looks very good. He said that at night he has to cover it up otherwise he has nightmares, sort of like when I think about getting my cock out in the film Zardos.
Many people think that a big Comet killed the dinosaurs; I donít believe that at all. There is a massive Comet by the roundabout near P.C World, but I canít imagine that killing anyone, unless the dinosaurs were allergic to electrical goods.
Life will find a way, said the man in Jurassic Park. It is true, after the dinosaurs died, we came along, after I left Bond, Roger took over, then that Welsh man, then the Irish one, and now the one who looks like a Russian, so life indeed does find a way.
I have retired from films now, all I seem to do these days is let my wife paint hundreds of pictures of my face and sell them on my website for £50 a pop, but I do miss acting. Many people say Iím a dinosaur, but Iím not, Iím a man, how stupid are they?
Nothing written on this site is intended to be true or factual, and none of the celebrities named in the 'Look Into' section have anything to do with this website. Their 'contributions' are entirely fictional and have been created by the authors of Hobo-Bonobo. The opinions expressed on Hobo-Bonobo.co.uk are not those of anyone, particularly not the people to whom they have been accredited.
Comments about This Article
Articles like these put the consumer in the driver seat-very imtnpraot. Comment By: Carley, 08 May 2016, Rating: 4/5
Erin,This image is stunning. Love how pecreft that light shines between them and the adorable pregnant belly. So wish I had one like this when I was pregnant!!! Love it! Comment By: Afifah, 15 Nov 2014, Rating: 5/5
ZtveCu Hey, thanks for the post.Really thank you! Comment By: link building, 26 Oct 2013, Rating: 2/5
IX0Y5t I really enjoy the blog. Keep writing. Comment By: the best seo service, 06 Sep 2013, Rating: 2/5
Octavio- Thanks! How do you like working at Lucasfilm? That and Industrial Light and Magic were the first sotidus I ever wanted to work for. What are you working on nowadays?Kendra- Merci! The iPad is pretty addicting. I used Animation Creator HD, but my buddy Josh Anon is working on a muuuuch better program which should be coming out in the next couple of months.Cool blog, btw. I love the banner :)Alexiev- Danke! Nice work on your blog, as well. Almost everyone I know wants to be a childrens' book illustrator, so kudos! Comment By: Andre, 04 Oct 2012, Rating: 3/5
hi i collect dinosourus and overall its hard to thank that all your movies are gone but i see all your movies i thank there cool but ? do you thank if you had a chance you whould have 1 of the cars that you drove in the movies i jest happen to some how get in this site about you and i thank your ok im fone of you so i geve you a 5 rating my email is email@example.com jest incase you want to write me Comment By: james luallin , 16 Feb 2009, Rating: 5/5